Import Girlfriend
by Psycho Lullaby
Summary: Drabble: Mustang Abuse, Ed with a Sex Drive! EdRan Fan, Implied RoyRiza, Lighthearted RoyRan Fan


**Title**: **_Import Girlfriend_**   
**Rating**: PG - 13 (I rate higher than I consider this to be because I don't want anyone complaining about a lack of fair warning)  
**Pairings**: Ed/Ran Fan, Implied Roy/Riza, and light-hearted Roy/Ran Fan  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own **_FMA_**! Duh.  
**Genre**: **_Fullmetal Alchemist, _**Randomness I suppose…  
**Feedback**: That'd be awesome!  
**Warnings**: Eh…nothing much. Ed says the F-word and there are hints of 'naughty' intentions and future violence

**Summary**: Short little piece that popped into my head around 2 in the morning. Mustang abuse 'cause he's a dork and in a shocking turn of events, Ed may ACTUALLY have a sex drive gasps

The military banquet was the event of the year as far as Roy Mustang was concerned. Sure he'd have to endure mind-numbingly boring small talk with the higher-ups, but if it meant advancing in rank, he would endure the agony of it all. Besides, the rare opportunity of seeing the female personal dressed in attire much more suitable than unisex uniforms was something he just couldn't pass up. Leave it to Hawkeye to put bullet holes through his fantasies and show up in skirt-uniform apparel anyway.

Mustang sipped at his whiskey, tuning out the snickering of his unit behind him when Hawkeye arrived wearing significantly more clothing than Mustang would have preferred. Why was it that his men insisted on gaining amusement from his misfortunes? He made a mental note that they would all pay dearly for this mockery Monday morning.

Casually glancing up from his drink, the Colonel accessed the current pickings lingering about the grand ballroom. The Fuhrer really outdid himself preparing for such notable occasion and Mustang was pretending to admire the fine details of the set up while considering his selection. He was bored by the routine offerings he had once considered a benefit of his position; secretaries, librarians, receptionists, etc. He found an unfamiliar presence in the room refreshing. Wouldn't fate decree that 'she' be just that?

She had her back to him, standing alone at the base of a winding staircase with a wine glass in her hand. She seemed awkward and somehow out of place, but nonetheless enticing for the infamous lady-killer that was the Flame Alchemist. He straightened his collar and took his time strolling up to the young woman.

At first, one might brush aside such a lovely creature as being far too slender for his liking, but the silky black dress the woman wore whispered over her skin in such an elegant way, accentuating her thin waist and graceful curves, that Roy found he had a deep appreciation for her modest figure. Her hair, a deep obsidian, was partially bound to the back of her head with an oriental hair piece, the remaining tassels allowed to wisp over the satin shawl cast over her delicate shoulders.

When he was nearly upon her, Roy cleared his throat and was presumptuous enough to slip an arm around her, ghosting his hand over her hip as he turned her to face him.

"My lovely lady, would you mind terribly if I were to join you-" The woman glared up at him and before his mind could register the identity of the youthful Xingian face, she had the small blade, previously tucked away on her upper thigh, out of its holster and at his throat. "R-Ran Fan?!"

"Hey!" An adolescent male voice called to them. The woman retracted her weapon and turned to the blond alchemist trotting in their direction. Ed was dressed formal as well, brown slacks and a matching vest over a pressed button up shirt, his hair pulled back in a high ponytail. He was a bit flushed as if he had been running and needed a moment to catch his breath before smiling up at Ran Fan." I got the keys. We can go now." Then, just now noticing Mustang standing dumbly behind her, his innocent smile twisted into a smirk. "Hey bastard. I see you've met my date."

"Eh..?" Mustang found himself speechless as Edward offered his arm to Ran Fan and she graciously laced hers with his.

"This party of yours is fucking boring" Edward said, twirling the key ring on his pointer finger. He flashed a bit of fang and added, "We're gonna find something more interesting to do. You have fun though." The devious look Ran Fan gave the Colonel before leaving with Edward caused Roy to reach out a bit as the two departed. Behind him he heard the distinct sound of Hawkeye pulling back the clip of her revolver and beyond that the murmurs of his 'friends.'

"The colonel sure knows how to pick 'em, don't he?"

"He must love the abuse"


End file.
